Got rambler inside your group? family? or yourself?

No, we’re not talking about a car, like my Grandfather’s 1956 Nash Rambler! I loved that!

No, not a wandering cowboy. So romantically depressing!

Do your eyes glaze over? Do you try to give hints? Do you hope they are winding down only to discover that they are actually not tired and just getting started?

You’re dealing with a rambler!  Rambler: talker! gabber! on-and-on-er!

They are, or need to be, a member of O.O. (On and On Anonymous)!  I joined years ago.  Charter member at that. I’ve got plaques! (Okay, at least “plaque” according to my dentist!)

BTW (by the way) Venus, my A.A. (you know this one) expert, and simple-church, small-group friend, teaches “If you spot it you got it!”  So, if you are excited to show this article to your rambler antagonist, be sure to examine yourself first. As the one-functional-man said,  “Judge not lest ye be judged,” and we’ve heard of the “the pot and calling the kettle” names, and all that!

But it’s no joke, in these days of wonderful, relational small groups—useful for addiction recovery, support groups, and….wait for it…business teams—being a rambler is so tempting! You get comfortable in your supportive group and forget that others may grow weary of your rambling!

Here are some signs of ramblerness from

Causes of rambling. People talk for too long and without enough focus for a number of reasons. For example, they might be:

  • excited, nervous, or frustrated about the subject matter;
  • uncertain about what to say, saying everything they can think of;
  • embarrassed, trying to cover for not knowing what to say;
  • cautious, not wanting to appear shallow as if they don’t have much to say;
  • lonely and/or seeking friendly social contact;
  • proud, focusing on how they sound rather than what they say; and
  • thinking out loud.

Most of these motives suggest a desire to be helpful and make a good impression. “Thinking out loud” can even be quite beneficial, when used at appropriate times. But be careful!

Seven steps to stop rambling and stop ramblers! Full text: click here:

  1. If you think you ramble sometimes, you are probably right.
  2. If you have more to say than you can say in a minute, limit yourself.
  3. Sit down with a friend or co-worker who is willing to help using the one minute tool.  Or use a timer…alarm.
  4. Listening carefully is often more powerful than saying a lot.
  5. If you find yourself fighting not to talk too much, spend more of your free time talking with friends.
  6. If you know someone who rambles, don’t assume they know it themselves. Sadly, even if they do know, they probably don’t know how to stop… You can help…
  7. Everyone rambles once in a while. Anyone can learn not to ramble given sufficient effort. Budget your patience and your honesty generously, both for yourself and others. Recognize small successes and learn from any setbacks you have along the way.

I shortened the article to keep it from rambling. Now I am concerned about rambling myself! Bye!

P.S. Reply and ramble if you want!