Bus_GusWho annoys you?

Their ideas. Their looks. Their bad manners. Their arrogance, reluctance, passivity, aggressiveness, or quite simply, their existence.

The secret is, the buttons they seem to push are not theirs. The buttons are ours.  Our concerns, rules, fears, needs, ways-of-doing, mores, customs, manners, righteousnesses and judgments.

Next time you get ticked or hurt or appalled and are frowning, interrupting, rolling your eyes, correcting, or acting bored, try stopping and asking, “Is it them, or my opinion about them, that is creating this turmoil, resentment, and desire to retaliate, or sulk and hold a grudge?”

Taking response-ability for our judgments about their judgments is a game-changer.  Getting good at thinking, “It’s not them. It’s my opinion about them that is riling me up,” is a great relief.

You will find yourself spending more time inside yourself and less time fixing, dominating, controlling, manipulating, intimidating, teaching, rescuing, and tricking others for your own ego, comfort, and security.

Initially this will be agonizing for you. Happily, it will be a relief to others.

As you ask yourself better questions about insisting on your own way and trying to change others you may initially be uncomfortable. Eventually though you may find yourself remodeling and redecorating your insides and in the long haul, having more fun being you.

Once you love yourself you’ll be able to love your neighbor. After all, imagine trying to really love your neighbor when you don’t love and respect yourself.

Socrates suggests, “Know thyself.”

I agree and encourage, “Hop on the bus, Gus, and take the journey. Knowing thyself helps — everyone!”

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Thoughts? Please reply and share.